Sunday, December 6, 2009

I go now in Pursuit...

So... I mentioned previously about attending the Pursuit conference in Medicine Hat. I went last week-end. Right from when the Lord gifted me the ticket to go and provided a place for me to stay, I knew that he had something in store for me! :-)

The trip started off a bit snagged...I encountered an accident just outside of Sparwood and was stuck in Sparwood for over 5 hrs. waiting for the road to re-open. Having had planned the trip so I would make it to the Hat before it got dark, It made me nervous to get delayed. I don't see very well at night and I knew they were having bad weather in Medicine Hat... I started praying right away. Friends kept me informed and I waited it out until about 7:30 pm when the traffic started moving again.

I played worship music and praised God for most of the way.. just past Lethbridge the weather was worse and the roads were covered in snow. This being the first time I drove my car (just got a new used car in the summer) in the snow, didn't know quite how it would handle. That's when the praying really kicked in! My heavenly father had my back, and many times I think he was the only one driving the car! At one point my gas tank was getting low, I was cold as the heat doesn't work very well in the car, and I was getting quite tired. I was just thinking of pulling over and sleeping the night in my car when I received a text from Kim. Kim is the lady who had offered me her house to stay in. I had never met her, but I had been texting her about my delays. The conference had started that night and they were awaiting my arrival.

Her text read "...keep coming girl!" It was just the encouragement I needed. Renewed, I kept going and made it to Medicine Hat around 11:30pm. Praise God!

I know I tend to write way too detailed, so I will attempt to keep this short. I will just give the gist to those who have been asking.

For the amount the Lord brought healing and restoration to me spirit, I feel like the conference was a week long, not just 2 days...

Being surrounded by people truely hungering after the Lord and praising him, is always such an amazing place to be! Having not had the interaction of being involved in fellowship anywhere for such a long time, it was like water to dry land.

I was singing at one point with my arms spread open that first day and I saw a vision of myself standing in a waterfall, with my face up, facing the spray of water. My arms were out as I was standing at the time. I could feel the water pouring down upon me. I cannot explain how it felt, but the Lord spoke to me in that moment. He told me that as the water poured over me, so he wanted to pour over me. That it was impossible to stand under the fountain of a waterfall and not have a part of my body un-touched by water, so too he wanted to be in my life. To not have a single area that was not covered by him. That as impossible as it is to attempt to put one hand under a waterfall and not have any other body part get wet, so is it impossible to only submerge myself partly in him. That if I wanted to walk completely in him, I needed to allow my whole self to be submerged in him. It requires everything, and is all consuming. To attempt to stand there and only have a part of myself get wet, would be exhausting. I was also reminded of how he is a jealous God. That he wants all of me and does not want to have to share me (as he does all of us). It was pretty incredible and awesome.

Perhaps that is why I have been so tired lately... I have tried to put just a part of me in him and would not allow my whole self to be submerged...

There was a time before New Hampshire when I heard his voice and saw visions on a regular basis. That awe and peace all wrapped in one, was like feeling a warm blanket enveloping me.

Through the speakers (who were speaking just at me, I'm sure! lol) and the worship it was like pieces of me slowly fit back into place. I was able to listen to the speakers and receive from them without the doubt and judgment I had been feeling. When I lifted my hands in worship to God, it felt freeing, as I shed years of chains the had had me shackled down.

For most people who know me, perhaps the weight I was under was not perceptible to them. For many of my friends, who did not know me before my time in New Hampshire, have never known me differently.. perhaps the few close friends I have that have known me longer will see a difference in me...but it doesn't matter. I know the healing that has taken place, and I feel so much more peace then I had been.

I saw anther vision as I worshiped. That of a bride in a resplendent gown standing at the end of the isle. There was a large window behind her, and from it shone down the sun so brightly every inch of the gown was illuminated. I felt like the Lord telling me this was how he saw me. That even though I have felt guilty and dirtied by many things, as I have been separate from him, that now, he saw me just as that bride. There wasn't a speck of dirt or any mark visible on the gown...and to him I was just as clean. It was a pretty incredibly humbling experience as you can imagine....

As I said, I will attempt to keep this short. :-) (So that means I will stop soon)

These are just tidbits of what I experienced...but you get the drift! I was completely blessed by the family I stayed with. They were incredible and truly his humble servants. They walked fully in the gifting of hospitality to which we are all called, but we seem to struggle with.. They never once made me feel in any way, that I was an inconvenience. I pray blessing upon their home and family! I also had some pretty cool encounters with some other people as well, including an offer to join a mission trip to Zambia in the spring!

So in all that I made my way home... The Lord protected me, even through a pocket of wind that determined to throw me across the highway! :-)

Had I known what was facing me when I got home, I may have attempted to stay in the Hat a couple more days!! lol

I came back to several stressful things. They have lead me throughout the week to lean and trust him. I know I have entrusted him with my life on many occasions and he has brought me through incredible challenges, yet there always seems to be one area to which is a struggle to truely trust in. I am facing that now. My first night home was a struggle, but I am trusting God and giving it up to him daily and at times, hourly.

I had been writing an entry on trust and had a few verses come to mind. I was going to write more on the topic, yet I feel just to share the verses now. I pray they encourage anyone who reads. God Bless!

The God of my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, My stronghold and my refuge; My Savior, You save me from violence. 2 Samuel 22:3

Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And put your trust in the LORD. Psalm 4:5

And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You. Psalm 9:10

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. 18:2

Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am in trouble; My eye wastes away with grief, Yes, my soul and my body! Psalm 31:9

Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:5

In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me? Psalm 56:4

Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8

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